I am convinced that when we start looking for love, we can’t help but find it. So on Sundays, I share a recent story about where I have seen love at work in my community or my marriage.  You are invited to share where you have seen love working.

A few weeks ago I came home from a weekend hidden away with my sister and our cousin Betsy for our first adult girl’s weekend since the summer week-long slumber parties we spent at our house with bikinis and Caboodles.  When I got home, I saw a small package on my desk.  It was wrapped in the comic section from that morning’s paper.  And on top, written in big bold Sharpie Marker letters, “Welcome home Cara!  I missed you!”

To some this might seem par for the course.   A card or a small gift after a weekend away has become the norm.  To others it might even seem vulgar - wrapping a gift in the funny papers!  But to me, it was sweet, unexpected perfection!

The gift was the DVD of the film Slumdog Millionaire.  It is not unusual for Herb to eye something at Target or Costco that he knows I might really use or enjoy and then just toss it in the cart.  He is constantly thinking about me and what I might need or want.  But rarely is it presented as a wrapped gift.  It warmed my heart that he felt like taking a few extra minutes to turn an “I was thinking of you” gesture into a gift.  The comic papers, while a little bit of a funny choice to some (pun intended) were endearing to me, as I knew that is exactly how he had spent part of that morning.  It was totally Herb being Herb to use the funny papers.  In the past I might have been upset that it was not romantic enough - he did not realize that a real love gift was wrapped in beautiful paper, preferably something brand new and nothing in our collection of wrapping papers.  But love has been working its magic around here, changing my heart and my mind.   And I was happy to see Herb being himself and not the image of The Perfect Husband that he was begrudgingly wearing so as to avoid a fight later on about how unromantic his wrapping paper choice had been.  He felt comfortable being him.  Perhaps more miraculously, I felt comfortable with him being him.

Even still, this is not the part that felt like perfection.  It was those three words, “I missed you!”.  I turned to him.  “You missed me!  You have never said you missed me before when I returned from a trip!”  To some, especially to the men who read this, it is not surprising at all.  After all, I am the woman who just admitted that she is capable of getting bent out of shape over something like a gift wrapped in “unromantic paper”.   I would guess that this part is appalling to others; especially people who have never been married.  Those who are married, even if they have always been missed when they were away, can imagine what it might be like not to miss that person who has secret card key access to all of your hot buttons and soft, easily bruised places.  Instead, you might be able to imagine yourself, lovingly and dutifully driving them to the airport only to breath a deep sigh of relief when you see that not only did they just walk towards the departures sign, but they do not seem to be showing any sign of turning around and shoving themselves and all of their baggage back into your car!  It is not what any bride and groom set out for:  to not only be relieved but to be in desperate need of a break from each other, but for us it has been a part of our story.  A painful part, to be sure, but a part of our story nonetheless.

So, when I saw those words, “I missed you”, I was taken aback.  I knew they were not shared out of kindness or sensitivity.  He would not have written them down if he had not meant them.  He missed me.  I enjoyed reminding him of this for the next several hours.  And I fell asleep, tucked in by the knowledge that love had indeed been massaging our hearts, because he missed me and I was becoming the kind of woman he missed.

Where did you see love at play this week?