For a quick refresher on Tony and Kelli, see the post from week one.

What keeps you committed to your partner?

He Said:

Love.  I feel Kelli is my partner, all the corny “you complete me” stuff applies here.
Commitment.  I promised Kelli to grow old with her.
Fear.  I am more afraid of losing Kelli and the boys than anything in the world.
Joy.  I do love being married and being a father.  It is a total rush of fun, challenge, adventure, and fulfillment.

She Said:

Tony is an amazing person.  He is extremely giving, patient and slow to anger.  I dwell on these positive characteristics.  He brings out the best in me by pointing out my flaws in a loving way.  I am not naive enough to assume that the grass is greener  in someone else’s garden.  I may have married young, but I dated enough guys to know that everyone has their baggage.  No one is perfect and to assume that I am going to find the kind of romance you see in movies in some other person is just not reality.

Is there an area of personal growth that you need to work on in order for your marriage to thrive?

He Said:

There are many areas, one that I am willing to share is about my personal health.  I feel I have dragged Kelli and my older son into a sedentary lifestyle.  My job requires many hours of sitting, and my first instinct is not to jump up at the end of the day and go out for a hike or bike ride.  I just transfer to a different place to sit.  I see my son following my lead and it scares me.  I want my family to see that I desire an active lifestyle where I am more likely to be working in the yard than sitting on the couch.  This may not seem directly related to my marriage, but it is.  If I am more active, I will be more healthy and attractive to Kelli.  If Kelli is more active because of me, she will have more energy… we will both have more energy to be better parents.  If I am healthier, our marriage can last longer and I won’t become a burden on Kelli as we grow older.

She Said:

I have two things that compete with each other in my head.  One is this inner voice that tells me “I’m not good enough”.  Not a good enough mother/friend/wife/daughter/employee/Christian/etc…

On the flip side, I am also a selfish person who thinks of her own needs and wants before others.  I have been working on both of these things for a very long time and finally, finally after years and years, feel like I’m getting a foothold on both of them.  But it’s obvious how these things can play out in my marriage and conflicts within it.

Thank you, Tony and Kelli, for being so open, free, and generous with your wisdom and insights about your experience with marriage.  Thank you thank you thank you!