THE MARRIAGE MIX

from the flicker feed of Skye Gazer

I mentioned this a week or two ago, but I think I should probably expand upon it . . .

THE MARRIAGE MIX IS TAKING OFF!

My hope in writing this  blog is that it will help other people to realize that they are not weird or odd or alone.  That their marriages are not that different from those of the people around them - but the problem is just that other people are not talking, so they feel alone.  This made me sad.  So, I started talking.  And I have spent the past month telling you one thing, over and over again: “Marriage is not easy for most of us and if you relate to that, you are not alone.” I have been trying to say, “If it is hard, and I mean really really hard, you still don’t have to give up if you don’t want to! There is hope.  You are not alone.”

I realized early on in this blog that I wanted other people to start blogging with me.  I have a lot to say, but not everyone can relate to my story; my voice.  So, starting tomorrow, you will start to see some changes on this blog.  You will see new faces and hear new voices. There will be stories from people who have had it easier than I have . . . and stories from people who have had it harder.  But one thing is sure, there will be stories of real, honest people who love marriage, but know it is hard!  I sure hope you enjoy it.

Then later this week, you will see a new look on this blog, thanks to my tech geek husband!

In all of these changes, I am striving to make this blog the BEST it can be!  I want to spread this message that love and marriage are not perfect to as many people as I can.  SO, can you help out? Tell your friends about this blog.  Add it to your blog lines or your blog reader (that helps with “google juice”).  Write a short post about it on your blog.  Add it to the links section on your blog. Is this shameless self-endorsement? Perhaps, but I think if you have read more than one post on this blog, you know I don’t know how to beat around the bush, much.  The truth is, I need your help.  SO, here I am, asking for it.

Please
And
Thank
You!!!

Hang on, we are off for the ride of a lifetime!

Each week I leave a short story or video blog here about where I saw love in action during the previous week.  Looking for love in the world around us inspires us to look for love everywhere - especially in our marriages.  Leave your story in the comments section about how you saw love in action last week!  Or write about it on your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments section (and be sure to link your readers over here so they can see more stories about love in action!).

There is something about women in our culture who are selling their bodies for the sexual fulfillment of men that is confusing to me.  My experience says that as a women in the United States, I have so many other choices about how to use my body and how to earn money.  I did not grow up as a young girl in the Red Light District of India.  I do not have a heritage of sex trade.  And as a result, I have trouble conceptualizing how and why these choices are being made in a country that seems to provide so many other options for women.  Maybe cycles of poverty, abuse, and lack of options have not lent the same experience to some women in my country; in my city.   Maybe the idea of having a $100 bill tucked into your G-string does not feel like a problem when your alternative is standing on your feet at McDonald’s all day, for minimum wage.  I rarely feel judgement towards women who are strippers, escorts, or prostitutes; but I do feel sadness and regret.  I feel anger towards a culture that has come so far and yet has left these women in a position where dancing in front of a bunch of abusive men strung out on coke is even an option; let alone a good one.

Some feminists would say it is their choice and their right give lap dances and have sex for money.  And that when done willingly, it is even liberating and fulfilling.  To me, that just sounds like a modern day middle finger to all of the men who have scared them and abused them; now THEY get to be in charge.  Either scenario sounds, to me, filled with painful stories.  Well, I am not here to figure that out, but what I do know is that every time I drive by a small, windowless cinder block building that touts any variation of “LIVE*NUDE*GIRLS”, I become a very dangerous combination of sad and angry.  I want very badly to see those women released from what looks to me like a modern day, acceptable form of sexual slavery - women whose circumstances sort of pin them into a corner and leave them without a lot of other options.  I am sad for all of the girlhood dreams of becoming doctors, artists, and airplane pilots that were either never born or used as someone elses’ plaything, until they ceased to exist.

When my friend Kevin sent me  this link and video, I found myself, through tears, relieved to know that someone, somewhere has figured out how to take light and love into what seems to be a very dark place.  They set aside their judgements and agendas and desire to figure out this cultural catastrophe.   They decided to take only one personal value in with them - the value to love other women in ways that are tangible.  They are called Jesus Said Love, and they are doing just that.