i call myself a feminist because . . . .
. . . . i entered this world through a vagina.
. . . . my life drastically improved the day i began sharing it with a woman.
. . . . i need more than a male perspective.
. . . . all the married men i know literally fall apart when their wives go away for even a weekend. i honestly forget to feed myself.
. . . . girls are not born with a natural desire or tendency to despise and compare their bodies. we teach them to do that.
. . . . i want to raise daughters.
. . . . i want to raise sons well, too.
. . . . as an english teacher, it makes me angry that the core of our great literary canon - all the books we tell students are “important” - were written by dead white guys. this is ridiculously unnecessary on many levels.
. . . . too many girls in the american high school learn that the only way to socially succeed is to play dumb.
. . . . too many other girls are learning to play the slut. neither of these behaviors reflect a natural social inclination. young people learn this form of gender misidentity at a very young age.
. . . . there also exists a narrow margin of american high school girls completely ignored for refusing to play either dumb or the slut.
. . . . at the end of the day, they still call the boy the “stud” and the girl the “whore.” this is enough to make me want to turn somebody’s other cheek.
. . . . little boys are learning the “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” mentality of sex at younger and younger ages.
. . . . the words “bitch” and “ho” are regular parts of most adolescents’ vocabularies.
. . . . women should never apologize for their menstrual moods. in fact, thank you for being the sole portal of life on our planet. that’s pretty frickin’ boss.
. . . . the church has stroked their steeples for too long on misread scriptures.
. . . . the bible does not give men the right to tell women what to do or how to do it. that is not what “submit” means.
. . . . the bible does not tell women to be silent. you were not a member of the church of corinth, and paul knew something about them gals you didn’t. maybe he knew them corinth girls were buck wild.
. . . . for all the machismo in the scriptures, especially back there with some of them burly old testamenters, Jesus had a phenomenal way of seeking women, speaking to women, and listening to women. i like that about Him.
. . . . my social, emotional, mental, intellectual, relational, spiritual, and creative consciences demand it of me.
. . . . today, while wearing my feminist shirt in the grocery store, i was called a “fucking faggot” by a young texas male. he then told his friends to look at my shirt. another guy said, “yeah, that’s fucking lame.” and they all laughed. i just held their eye contact and smiled.
. . . . regardless of what the next guy might say, the majority of institutions in america are still patriarchally geared, even those without malicious intent.
. . . . too many men too easily walk away from the seeds they have planted.
. . . . neither 100% patriarchy nor 100% matriarchy work. we need balance. as a man, i want to both recognize this and accept the challenge.
. . . . women are mysterious.
. . . . women right now, even in our own country, are being bought and sold as commodities.
. . . . even in america, there are places where it is culturally accepted and expected to physically abuse women.
. . . . sex should never be viewed or demanded as “a wife’s duty.”
. . . . somewhere today little girls are abandoned on the side of the road simply for being female. the prize of a male child is far too great.
. . . . somewhere today little girls are losing their clitoris to a cultural blade.
. . . . women i personally know still believe the violence against them was their own fault.
. . . . women i personally know remained silent far too long out of fear.
. . . . the consistent narrative in romantic fiction shows a helpless woman in need of a rescuing man. and while this is a good and true story for some people, i have lived the opposite many times.
. . . . my wife constantly astounds me.
. . . . many of the strongest, most profound voices in my life were those of women.
. . . . it was a woman, my dear friend sarah were, who first put me on a right path of considering my masculinity.
. . . . even though i dearly love God, my wife, and the women in my community, i still struggle with a desire for pornography.
. . . . when i am very honest with myself, deep down in the middle of my humanity, the idea of a strange, beautiful woman taking off her clothes and dancing on me for ten dollars is very appealing.
. . . . i want my heterosexuality redeemed.
. . . . too many people (mostly men) refuse to talk about their own sexuality, as if it were something in a concrete fixed form that does not breathe or grow or shutter in certain corners.
. . . . i refuse to pretend, just because i love Jesus and i am married, that i am asexual.
. . . . i do not believe it is wrong, perverted, or adulterous to consider or proclaim the physical beauty of women other than my wife. she doesn’t make me feel otherwise, so i sure don’t need anyone else making me feel otherwise.
. . . . i hate side-hugging the women i love. listen, i know you have breasts. in fact, i’m glad you have breasts. and, you know what, your breasts are very pretty. but they are not what i’m moving in for here.
. . . . i want to view my wife, my mothers, and the women in my community well.
. . . . i need healthy relationships with women.
. . . . i am still learning how to have healthy relationships with women.
. . . . women are beautiful.
all photo credits go to sarah bowen
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